As I sit here writing this blog post, I know that I haven't really had much time to blog in the last month. Heck, I haven't had much time at all even for myself. But this morning, I woke up feeling compelled to sit down and just get my thoughts down on paper (virtual paper).
In the last 3 weeks, my life has drastically changed. I have gone from a dependent daughter to an independent "real" person. 3 weeks to the day, I was offered a full time position at my job where I had been working as a per diem nurse (basically when they needed me, I would work). If you know me, I had been living at home in New Jersey, when I was working 1,2, or 3 times a week in Long Island, NY. Now that's about an hour and half on a good day without traffic ONE WAY! The stress of the commute and not getting much hours at work was really taking a toll on my physically, mentally, emotionally, and financially.
When I was offered full time, it was a nervous exciting at the same time. I really took some time to think about it. First off, full time would basically start immediately. At the time, I was sleeping on my friends couch in their apartment when I would work. So first, I did not have a place to live. Secondly, now I would totally have to be a grown up. Excuse my french but "SHIT got real...FAST!" All along, I knew that I was going to 99% take the job but the unknown of not knowing where I was going to live, and the fact that this was all so fast really scared me. Not like oh there is a boogie man in my closet kinda scared, like gut wrenching, nervous, unsure of life kinda scared. But after I talked to my Aunt who is in the medical field and was an ICU nurse way back. She said, "Nikki, tell me what your gut says" my response, "My gut tells me to take the job. I know this is not where I want to be forever, but it is experience, it will give me more financial stability, and I need to be on my own, for me to grow." So the next day, went into work, told them I would take the position.
Within a few days, on Saturday, the day before Easter, my parents and I decided to come out to the Island and apartment search. We had gone to 7 or 8 apartments. A couple were great, others were so-so, and a few were ehhhhh (Fat Amy voice). By Monday, I came back to the apartment and signed the agreement for the apartment, put down the deposit, moved a few things in that I had packed up on Easter Sunday.
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| Saturday Morning Expo in Georgetown |
This all happened so quick because the following weekend, I was down in Washington DC with my family because I was doing the Nike Women's Half Marathon. Not only within a week did my life completely change but now I was running in a Half Marathon. and for those of you who know me and know that running is not my specialty, I do not enjoy it as much as I love cycling or swimming. But anyways, we headed down to DC for the weekend, I was more at ease because I did have a place to live out on Long Island. The Half Marathon Weekend was absolutely amazing. We spent Saturday with family who lives in the DC area. In the morning on Saturday, my dad and I headed to Georgetown, to pick up my race day packet and go to the Expo. Nike Women's knows how to do it right.
Sunday Morning comes along and well, its race day. I have trained hard for this and its 13.1 miles from me and my goal! The atmosphere was incredible. As i stood waiting for the start, the Capitol right in from of us, all the other runners all hyped up, I had to catch my breath. I was chosen for the run, ME. I stood there and took it all in. I reflected on how far I have come, not just in training but in my weight loss journey. If you were to tell the old me, the old me from almost 3 years ago and about 70 pounds heavier that I would be running in a half marathon, I would have laughed in your face and said there is not a chance.
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| After 13.1 Miles! |
The run itself was amazing! I mean not going to lie it was a true struggle and a challenge. I have never pushed my body so hard. Physically the miles were nothing, but mentally, running throws you for a loop. The scenery of DC was beautiful. The crowd was phenomenal and there were different festivities along the run. It really made the experience all the worth it. The sites of the major monuments were breath taking! If you ever get the opportunity to run it, YOU should JUST DO IT! The feeling you get when you cross that finish line after running 13.1, is no greater feeling!
With the half marathon over and my goal achieved of running the entire 13.1 miles, it was time to focus on moving my life to New York. I had to shift my focus. Not going to lie, the last time I had to "pack my things" was to go to college and that was definitely less stressful that this move. As I was packing up my room and my life, I realized I wouldn't be coming home often. My life would be in NY. My brother was going to take over my room and it would be his. It was a bitter sweet feeling. I was excited to leave the nest and go out on my own. I was excited for this new journey. I was READY to move out. It just all became real when I took the pictures down off the walls and packed up all my clothes and belongings. It wasn't I will be coming back after a year away at college, its I am going to come home to visit. I realized I had to put those "big girl panties" on and move out! I have always been an independent person but this is a whole new level. Packed up all my things up and moved out to my new apartment on Tuesday (a week ago & 2 weeks after I was offered my full time position).
As I sit in MY apartment, and by mine, I mean its mine, a week after I officially moved out here, I just can't begin to say how blessed I am. I have a good job as a nurse, I am a beachbody coach (yes my priorities have changed but I still make time for it), I have amazing friends and family who support my decisions 100%, and I . This is the first time in a while that I feel a sense of peace and serenity. A huge part of it is that I don't have to commute back to jersey and sit in hours of traffic. I drive my 12 min drive back to my apartment and I am HOME! IT IS MY HOME! Weird to say that. Weird to think that I am a grown up.
But in a short 3 weeks, I have gotten a full job, found an apartment, ran a half marathon, moved to another state, and I am finding more happiness in my life!
My call to action today is that since I have been on my own, I have learned a few things. Home truly is where your heart is. My home is where I am happy. Happiness is in the eye of the beholder, its not measured by the number of friends you have (I have a lot of "friends" but I only call a select few of those "friends" my true "friends") or the amount of money you make. Happiness is about taking control of your life and doing what truly makes you happy. Your happiness is not someone else's happiness, your happiness is what you do to make yourself happy. Not to cater to others happiness but to embrace your journey and follow your heart and your GUT where ever it may lead you!
I know this is probably one of my longer posts and if you made it this far, I want to THANK YOU for reading it and sharing this journey with me. Its been a crazy ride these last 3 weeks. but this is the beginning of the new me, the more independent me, the grown up me.
